A Hand to Hold Me
by Phantasmik
Summary: Have you ever wished even for an instant, for a hand to grasp, to be your anchor, your hope as your thoughts turn to dark? Humans… they are fragile. They live. They love. They die. Shonen Ai, suicide


A Hand to Hold Me

By: Heather Noelle

A/N: Well, I actually got something accomplished over Spring Break! Two things actually but I'm editing 'Raspberry Sorbet' and this fic is my BABY! My first angst piece done ever! I'm SOOOO proud of it:Huggles her notebook: Anyway…

Disclaimer: You know what I wonder? I wonder why the FUCK makes us put these up, I mean, we all know that we don't own DN Angel, Kingdom Hearts and what not, so why put these up? That said, I do not own D N Angel.

Warnings: Yaoi, suicide, depressing thoughts, angst, tragedy, character death…

Summary: Have you ever wished even for an instant, for a hand to grasp, to be your anchor, your hope as your thoughts turn to dark? Humans… they are fragile. They live. They love. They die.

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**Child, Don't you worry  
It's enough you're growing up in such a hurry  
Brings you down, the news they sell ya  
To put in your mind that all mankind is such a failure **

But nobody knows  
What's gonna happen tomorrow  
We try not to show  
How frightened we are...

If you let me, I'll protect you  
However I can...  
You've got to believe it'll be all right in the end...

_Would it seem only  
If you were the only  
Star in the night... _

You've got to believe it'll be all right in the end...

_It'll be all right again..._

No clue who it's by, but I don't own it.

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It was stupid really. How stupid could I be? To fall in love with a Niwa. It was never fated to work out.

A Niwa and a Hikari, falling in love… How bloody cliché.

Maybe my love was unrequited… maybe it wasn't. Either way I would never find out. As Krad had said, it was either myself or him and I refused to let such a pure work of Art be destroyed.

So I would be the one; I would be the one to die.

Krad was furious with me for allowing myself to lose to someone so incapable of keeping his own in the game. Yet at the same time he was fearful, terrified even of what I would do.

I flicked the match and tossed it against the painting. MY Hikari painting, the one that I had poured all of my emotions, my very heart and soul into. And I cringed as I watched it begin to smoke; and the paint began to bubble and run until all that was left of my precious painting was a mess of color.

A mess of red; all different shades really. Because… of what my painting was of…

A crimson haired, crimson eyed angel with wings of red. Wings so red… the color so pure… like ripe strawberries they were, strawberries…

Such a wonderful scent he had… that of strawberries and cream…

The fire was spreading rather quickly now and Krad's cries of 'Satoshi-sama' had long ago begun to tire me. The demon loved me yes, as impossible as that may seem; that the white winged demonic angel could love anyone… well, I would not have believed it true had I not seen his current behavior.

He had projected himself outward and into his astral form and could clearly see the pain in his golden orbs. He was pleading, begging me even, to continue living. On his knees before me, golden hair spilling over white garbed shoulders to pool at his ankles, face beaded with perspiration, white wings hanging limply from lax shoulder blades, both broken from a piece of the dying house, he looked more angelic, more alive than he ever had.

He was pleading with me again, his pale hands groping for my own, his usually cold mask gone, washed away by a non-existent tide, face contorted in pain and eyes crying out in agony and frustration.

I sat there calmly as the fire crept closer, stalking us like a predator would its prey. Mask in place even as Krad's left wing began to smolder filling the air with the scent of burning feather and the fallen angel cried out in agony.

_'How… How can you be thankful to the person who hurt you? How? How can you smile at the person who took away that which was most precious…'_

I winced as the memory assaulted me, cracking my mask when nothing else could…

_'You know… I can capture you as easily as this. But I… I can never allow anything to become important to me… I didn't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you!'_

Krad paused now, eyes confused as my memories reached him.

_'Your time is infinite… and the time you share with us… is but a moment… we humans are fragile… and fleeting. In your Mirror World you saw yourself separated… from Daisuke. Humans are not endless. That is the reality.'_

'_Yet you treasure this reality, Satoshi-sama. Just as you treasure that boy… What do I treasure? To me… you are my everything.'_

'_Besides, the works of the Hikari's… seem destined to end up with the Niwas…'_

"_Including your heart Satoshi-sama, including your heart…"_

The fire had begun to creep up my shirtsleeve now, singing my arm in the process… Krad was beating at it now, trying desperately to put the sinuously beautiful flames out; and he was weeping because he could not.

It was funny, very unexpected that his mask had cracked before my own.

_'You can't do this, Krad… Hiwatari-kun… is my friend.'_

_'…Hiwatari-kun! Your back! You have no idea… how glad I am to see you Satoshi!'_

_'Hiwatari-kun? Are you okay!'_

And just like that my carefully sculpted mask shattered and silver tears fell from my eyes, trailing down my cheeks.

Krad I believe was now delirious from the pain, eyes glassy and unfocused. And as the fire began to blanket me he threw himself on top of me, trying, hoping against hope that he could put the flames out. And in a voice so soft, so fragile that I did not believe them his, his words trembled against my throat, where his head lay.

"I- Satoshi-sama… I shall forever love you… my everything…"

In the end I believe that Krad perished before I did. His existence blinking out and leaving me completely and utterly alone, lonelier than I ever figured possible. Leaving me alone to burn amidst broken dreams.

And as the fire consumed me, and I felt myself begin to fade, I believe, in my delirium, drowning in death, I felt someone grasp my hand.

And just maybe… I died with a smile on my face…

-End of Part one-

Continue?

_A/N2: My God was that depressing to write; though you shouldn't worry! Raspberry Sorbet is a nice, fluffy lemon for ya! But anyway… the next part, if I choose to do it, will be a songfic to Sarah McLachlan's song, 'Stupid' and it will be in Daisuke's POV. Which will be a pain in the ass to write since I'm probably not going to make him innocent enough… :Grumbles: Right then! And just a warning there will not be a happy ending for this fic, because I'm determined to make it pure angst!_


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